lwsimmons.org

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Despite the hopes of many University of Wisconsin-Madison (UW) students, The Onion was not named after their student center. “People always ask questions about where the name The Onion came from,” said President Sean Mills in an interview with David Shankbone, “and when I recently asked Tim Keck, who was one of the founders, he told me the name—I’ve never heard this story about ‘see you at the un-yun’—he said it was literally that his Uncle said he should call it The Onion when he saw him and Chris Johnson eating an onion sandwich. They had literally just cut up the onion and put it on bread.” According to Editorial Manager Chet Clem, their food budget was so low when they started the paper that they were down to white bread and onions.

Long before The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, Heck and Johnson envisioned a publication that would parody the news—and news reporting—when they were students at UW in 1988. Since its inception, The Onion has become a veritable news parody empire, with a print edition, a website that drew 5,000,000 unique visitors in the month of October, personal ads, a 24 hour news network, podcasts, and a recently launched world atlas called Our Dumb World. Al Gore and General Tommy Franks casually rattle off their favorite headlines (Gore’s was when The Onion reported he and Tipper were having the best sex of their lives after his 2000 Electoral College defeat). Many of their writers have gone on to wield great influence on Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert‘s news parody shows.

And we are sorry to break the news to all you amateur headline writers: your submissions do not even get read.

Below is David Shankbone’s interview with Chet Clem and Sean Mills about the news empire that has become The Onion.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

At least three people died today and seventeen more were injured after a road bridge collapsed on the Indonesian island of Borneo. At least three cars, several motorbikes, and a public bus all fell into the Mahakam River.

The bridge was constructed from concrete roughly a decade ago to resemble California’s Golden Gate Bridge, and links the East Kalimantan towns of Tenggarong and Samarinda. Police say there is no indication of why it failed. Completed in 2001, work started in 1995 and locals called it “Kalimantan’s Golden Gate Bridge.”

The wounded have been hospitalised, some with broken bones. The scene at the bridge, in Kutai Kartanegara district, was filled with screams in the aftermath of the collapse. The suspension bridge was erected by state-owned builders PT Hutama Karya and one segment has fallen into the water. Some vehicles are close to entirely submerged, and Indonesia Today suggests as many as 100 people may be injured. One damaged car was left inverted and suspended above the water.

Harmoni Adi, head of a search and rescue agency, said “[t]he death toll is likely to increase,” after the 4:30pm local time collapse, with rescuers in Tenggarong searching the river for survivors. Some people swam ashore after falling from the structure, which spanned 700 metres. An eyewitness described heavy traffic on the bridge when it came down.

The time is 17:00 (UTC) on May 26th, 2006, and this is Audio Wikinews News Briefs.

December 25, 2004

Officials in Mumbai, India, demolished over 6,000 shanties today in a push to eradicate the capital city’s slums. In total, 39,000 shanties have been flattened, displacing over 200,000 people, in the city’s biggest-ever demolition drive, which began in early December.

When complete, over 2 million people are expected to be displaced. After wiping out the least desirable shanties, next in line for demolition are the illegal ‘well-off’ shanties and neighborhoods, according to the legal and bureaucratic motions that have been executed toward cleaning up Mumbai’s appearance by lowering the dominance of shanties, which make up 62 percent of Mumbai’s housing.

“As far as eye can see, there are mounds of wood, tin and tarpaulin, the remains of 6,200 illegal homes, flattened by a heavy excavator running on tank-like tracks and giant motorised claws,” the Indian Express reported about today’s destruction. [1]

Chief Minister Vilasrao Deshmukh said that citizens would see a change within six months. “Every chief minister likes to be remembered, and I’m no exception,” said Deshmukh, who despite having an empty exchequer, also announced that Rs 31,000 crore will be spent on new roads, sea links and rail lines. [2]

Thursday, March 25, 2010

A prank by three young kitchen staff at Hungry Jack’s fast food restaurant in the Central-Western New South Wales city of Bathurst went wrong when two customers required medical treatment after eating burgers they had laced with multi-purpose cleaner.

According to staff at the Emergency Department of Bathurst Hospital, two Hungry Jack’s customers became ill Sunday night after eating burgers contaminated with a chemical believed to be multi-purpose cleaner. One of the patrons was in a serious condition upon arrival at Bathurst Hospital due to being allergic to an ingredient in the cleaning product. “He presented to the emergency department as he was having an allergic reaction after eating a burger from Hungry Jacks, he was in a really bad way when he arrived here and if he had waited much longer it could have been much worse,” said a Greater Western Area Health Service employee. “We called Hungry Jacks and they said that three of their employees had been goofing off and sprayed multi-purpose cleaner inside the burgers so we then treated the patients for poisoning.”

Both customers are expected to make a full recovery. During an investigation undertaken by Wikinews reporter Nathan Carter, it was learned that the chemical sprayed into the burgers was KAY multipurpose cleaner which is reported to cause nausea, diarrhoea and mucosal and gastric irritation. The Material Safety Data Sheet for KAY multipurpose cleaner lists Antonic Surfactants as its hazardous ingredient.

In New South Wales, it is a criminal offence to make food intended for sale unsafe punishable by 2 years imprisonment. Due to restrictions on the publication of the name of young people involved in crimes in New South Wales, the names of kitchen staff can not be published. Wikinews was told by Hungry Jack’s staff that the staff involved in the incident remained employed by Hungry Jack’s. Josh, a Hungry Jack’s manager at the Bathurst restaurant, told Wikinews that his boss Adam was aware of the food contamination issue and would be taking steps to address it.

Monday, May 26, 2008

The 27th Young Designers’ Exhibition 2008, recognized by the International Council of Societies of Industrial Design (ICSID) as the largest show of student creations, recently ended Sunday May 18. It was held at the Taipei World Trade Center. Improvements and expansions were seen with 107 academical and industrial units. Different design competitions participated and showcased their products and also received awards.

It’s no doubt that companies related to design and cultural industries want to discover creative talents from academical units in this exhibition. However, most companies still try to showcase different conceptional and applicative products in order to promote Taiwan’s designs into the world market. A typical example is Fora Series, a photo-voltaic product series by the Tsann Kuen Trans-nation Group.

Before entering into their careers, students participated in this show and showcased varied styles that differ from the usual industrial businesspeople. To get more opportunities and in order to interact with the design and cultural industries, students also participated in vast competitions and tried to get the top places. Some students also tried to design conceptional products in conjunction with industrial designs, especially in some design competitions.

In summary, not only did the 2008 YODEX, have companies which can discover talents and showcase achievements of industrial design in the exhibition, but students can make their stages to showcase excellences from their creations in several competitions related to YODEX.

A compilation of brief news reports for Sunday, April 1, 2007.

Five former Maoist rebels were sworn in as ministers as part of a peace pact designed to end a decade-long insurgency that has killed more than 13,000 people in Nepal. The new government has announced assembly elections for late June, 2007. Thereafter, the new assembly is due to write a new constitution for the Himalayan nation.

Related news

• “Nepal civil war ended by peace deal” — Wikinews, November 21, 2006

Sources

• AP. “Former rebels join Nepal government” — CNN, April 1, 2007
• “Nepal elections set for June” — Al Jazeera, April 1, 2007

Under a new law that went into effect today, non-Russians will not be allowed to work as salespeople in shops and markets. The ban was presented by Vladimir Putin as a way of improving employment prospects for Russian citizens. Russian media warns that it will increase the labor costs for retailers and drive up inflation. The Federal Migration Service, a government agency, reported nearly full compliance in Moscow.

Sources

• “Trading ban targets non-Russians” — BBC News Online, April 1, 2007
• “Russia bans expats from trading” — Al Jazeera, April 1, 2007
• “Moscow markets fully meet demands of new immigration legislation” — ITAR-TASS, April 1, 2007

Today, Sunday, Google “released” their Google TiSP service. This April Fool appears on their homepage as “New! Get FREE breakthrough broadband with Google TiSP (BETA).” This directs you to a page with details of Google’s TiSP package, a package that will give you broadband after you flush a fiber-optic cable down your toilet. Google issued a press release at midnight on April 1st, 2007.

Sources

• Press Release: “Google announces free in-home wireless broadband service” — Google, April 1, 2007
• Asher Bramwell. “Google April Fools!” — Geekzone, April 1, 2007
• Garrett Rogers. “Google launches TiSP — Free wireless broadband” — ZDNet, March 31, 2007

External links

• Google TiSP

Between 100 and 200 students gathered outside the British embassy in Tehran to protest the alleged incursion into Iranian waters by the Royal Navy.The protesters threw rocks, chanted “Death to Britain” and called for the expulsion of the ambassador. Police prevented the protesters from entering the compound.

Sources

• Nasser Karimi, AP. “Protest in Iran Targets British Embassy” — Guardian Unlimited, April 1, 2007
• Edmund Blair. “Protesters pelt UK embassy as Iran row worsens” — Reuters, April 1, 2007
• “Students condemn UK navy violation of Iran’s waters” — Islamic Republic News Agency, April 1, 2007

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The day after Fred Thompson’s “exploratory committee” announced that it raised just over US$3 million dollars, the type of fundraising is causing “confusion” over Federal Election Commission (FEC) rules for the “exploratory” status.

CQ Politics reports, “Friends of Fred Thompson” also is registered with the Internal Revenue Service as a “527” political organization, so named because it is regulated under Section 527 of the tax code.” Once Thompson decides to become a candidate, he must then meet FEC disclosure requirements. CQ Politics noted, “two issues — whether Thompson has raised more money than could be expected to be used for exploratory activities, and whether his months of ‘testing the waters’ have been a ‘protracted period of time’ as outlined by federal law as qualifying someone as a candidate — Thompson could have trouble.” According to Paul Ryan, FEC program director for the Campaign Legal Center, “Reasonable minds could disagree.”

The Washington Post noted, “Campaign finance experts said yesterday that if Thompson were to wait until Sept. 6 to launch a campaign, he would be legally permitted to delay filing a finance report with the Federal Election Commission until Jan. 31.” Nonetheless, “Thompson campaign officials stressed his commitment to disclosure.”

In addition to the personnel changes previously reported, today a top fundraising consultant, Kim Kaegi, resigned from the Thompson campaign. According to the AP, “Kaegi called it a ‘stretch’ to speculate that her departure was related to lower-than-expected totals.”

Monday, July 11, 2005

In Liverpool, England the North West Development Agency (NWDA) has approved funds of nearly £33 million (about $57.6 million U.S. dollars) for the construction of the Museum of Liverpool on Mann Island at the Pier Head — part of Liverpool’s UNESCO World Heritage Site waterfront. An additional £7.5 million (about 13.1 million U.S. dollars) has been allocated for the creation of a canal link across Mann Island, encompassing central docks, the Pier Head, and the Albert Dock.

The museum is to replace the current Museum of Liverpool Life. The future museum, which is presently a £65 million pound project, is to be the situated on the site of the failed “Fourth Grace” building. The “Three Graces” are: the Royal Liverpool Building, the Cunard Building; and the Port of Liverpool Building. The abortive Fourth Grace was a controversial building known as “The Cloud”, the brainchild of architect Will Alsop. It was cancelled in July 2004 after local opposition, rising costs and the belief that the design was unrealistic.

The future museum, which will be designed in the shape of an “X”, will feature 10,000 square metres of exhibition space on Liverpool’s cultural and social history, including present exhibits of the Museum of Liverpool Life.

The two projects are considered integral aspects of Liverpool’s successful bid in 2003 for the 2008 European Capital of Culture.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The British government has announced a £2.3 billion package of aid to attempt to support the country’s car manufacturing industry.

Lord Peter Mandelson, the Secretary of State for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform announced to the House of Lords that the government planned to obtain £1.3 billion from the European Investment Bank for the industry. A further £1 billion loan is available if the industry agrees to invest it in environmentally friendly vehicles.

Mandleson told the Lords that the industry is vital to the British economy, which with “near one million employees from manufacturing to retailing” provides “£10 billion worth of added value to the economy.” However, he stressed that the government was not providing a “blank cheque” and would not provide operating subsidies.

His newly-appointed shadow Kenneth Clarke told the House of Commons that the plans were “pretty small beer” and repeated the Conservative charge that the government was “dithering” in the face of the downturn. Liberal Democrat John Thurso also expressed disappointment in the plans.